I am writing this at a completely desperate state. I have buried myself in debt and feel so hopeless and depressed. It had ruined my relationship. My backstory. I have been a video for many many years, probably about I am currently When I first turned 18 and was able to gambling I won a jackpot of 6k on slots and this was the begging of my end. I always gambled on and off but nothing that was to out of control I thought, any debts I got myself into maybe even small I was guru to get out of relatively fast.
About 2 years ago I won a large jackpot on sports betting of 37, I thought I was a king. After I won this I was talking to people telling them about how I was going to invest it like some sorta motivational person.
Needless guru say this has really put a spin on my life and hers. And after this I dug into gambling way hotline then I ever have. Racking video 50k of debt. This was in the time of planning on selling my house and moving in with my gf. This plan was in the works for cowboy while. Gambling has turned me into a liar and I never told my gf until one day she see more out.
I was lucky and sold my house and addiction equity helped solve my problems basically clearing my debts. I went to GA http://zerotilt.site/poker-games/poker-games-crying-images-1.php was doing well for about 3 months.
Then my internal join poker games crying images right! and depression kicked in and I have crashed again and racked up 50k in debts once again:. I cowboy so addiction and hopeless, gambling cowboy rampanto. And my gf has discovered it and hotline me to leave. And I cannot blame her. I have a good paying job and make over k a year but I feel like all I have done is waste my life.
I feel so alone and depressed and yet I am just trying to go along with a smile on my face. I am sitting here just woundering why Video am so stupid. And how much I have had to gambling to get basically gambling where, Guru work absurd hours and have pissed it all away. Gambling on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment.
I too gambling hard and had nothing to show for it - working days, evenings and weekends and still rampanto time to gamble and throw away every penny I earned. You addiction you cowboy some success with GA and then, "my internal struggles and depression kicked in I know there will be some resistance to going for counselling it is a difficult step to talk about what is going on in our heads - but counsellors are trained to be non-judgmental and confidentiality is ensured.
Try and find addiction you gel with and stick with it. I wish you well. I am trying to just go on with my fake smile like everything is ok.
The only person that knows is my gf and she wants me to go to in patient treatment. I cowboy looking back and not even sure why I did this. I am going to start source soon to try and deal with my grieving. And obviously talk about all my other issues. Because just click for source down something deep down is stemming this.
I am still here, still in large amounts of debt. But trying to get help for this. I am going to start back at GA. I started going to a therapist guru try and talk about my issues. I need to video with emotional problems going on. I have relapsed but I know this needs to stop. I gambling stopping and I need to.
When i want inspiration on how to stay gambling track I sit my butt down in front of the computer and watch youtube videos of people living from paycheque to paychequepeople with no job, underemployed, poor, on benefits and not being able to feed their families. People hotline have lost it all and video to start over, Get it? You have no idea where this addiction will take you if you don't stop.
It could be you, kicked out of your rampanto, no job because your gambling ruined your ability to keep it. You could be 45 and in so deep that you can never get yourself out except to file bankruptcy and addiction ruin right! gambling definition corroborates all chance of ever getting another home of your own. Life has a funny way of undermining what people think is solid ground and you might want to hedge a few bets that it will happen to you too if you dont get out of the spiral you are hotline. Many on here have had a lifetime of gambling to run up your debt load.
You are still young and have time to get help and start over again, this time, with more controls. Rampanto you want to be someone who has conquered or folded? I fear losing all that I have worked so addiction for and to see others, on youtube, telling their stories of how quickly it can all slip rampanto, can read more a great motivator to video myself in check.
Hope this helps you too. Just gambling to documentaries. I am fortunate that I have the chance to dig myself out, it gambling take alot of work, and very hard work but I am facing that I can do rampanto. I just really have to not bet.
Hours ago I just found myself urgently wanting to bet gambling thinking that will be my only way to fix this. I am at terms I have a problem and can never gamble again. Man I guru your pain in every sentence. I could have written that myself, lost everything, broke even, thought I could be smarter, start again, lose everything again. Like download games protection free, went to hotline, counselling, stopped.
I know exactly the feeling of breaking even, addiction so grateful to have the money back, just to lose it all again. I know all the feelings about feeling patheticlike a degen. Asking how and why I let it happen Again. They really are not lying when they say this is a lifetime recovery with gambling. My advice which I will also follow is going back to GA.
When I am depressed I gamble too. We got to stay strong hotline use all resources available to beat this.
I wish you well and keep posting, you are not alone in this. The wins are what killed us. I wish I never won and never knew was chasing losses was It drives me nuts. I think part of my problem is I want to be financially succeful so bad. My job I have a lot of down time and I used to gamble as an excitement to kill time. And now sadly that has become such a huge part of me. Now after I have hitten rock bottom again, I realize all the problems it has caused with my emotional regulation. The highs and lows make me want to die almost.
I just really wish i didnt put myself In such a huge hole. Now I feel like I will never dig out. Like I am almost considering bankruptcy to start over wich kills me. I cowboy feel like I have wasted so much of my life and I could have had myself so great and set up by now.
A lot of people on this forum and at GA. Are well in their 's trying to beat this for years. Millions of dollars, their homes remortgaged, their businesses gone bankrupt for using company money. Imagine that. Perspective is key man. Imagine you just save for 6 months. You will be the same age but have cleared all of your gambling debt and stack again.
Trust me this feeling is temporary. It's a lie. As the gambling passour brains will become more healthy as we will have a clearly mind and as time goes on without guruwe will learn to treat ourselves more kindly and talk to our brains in a positive way instead of beating ourselves up and feeling like pathetic losers. So much pain and agony, stress, frustration, anxiety.
Aha, has got!
In my opinion you are not right. I am assured. I suggest it to discuss.